One thing I’m terrible at is blogging regularly. I love writing, and I send my writing to my newsletter list. Interested in seeing past copies? You can do that here - yay!!
Make this a No Diet New Year!
This year when it feels like the entire world is focused on "new year, new you," resolve to have a no diet new year. Resolve to live peacefully with yourself.
My lived experience says typical new year's resolutions don't lead to peacefully living with and loving myself.
What about for you? What does your past say resolving to "eat healthier" or "lose weight" leads to?
(You can call it whatever you want, lifestyle change, healthier eating, clean eating, fewer carbs, no sugar, cleansing, etc. etc. etc. It's all code for restrained eating, which for most leads to less peace with food and constant food & body thoughts. But your own personal experience is what's important to consider.)
How about trying a different kind of resolution instead:
-resolve to say one kind thing to your body in appreciation each time you look in the mirror
-resolve to go through your closet and take out everything that doesn't fit anymore & donate it. Then resolve to slowly, as time & funds allow, build a wardrobe for your here-and-now body that makes you feel good
-resolve to listen to one episode of a food peace podcast each week to help you on your food peace journey. It could be Food Psych, or Maintenance Phase or past episodes of the Nutrition Matters podcast.
-resolve to turn off your fitness tracker and learn to tune into how your body communicates it wants to move or rest (this will take some exploration, but it's so worth it!)
Or, you could join me in my new year's resolution:
-I'm resolving to use this little book a special friend gave me to identify something I'm grateful for each day. (I'm actually aiming for most days, and being gentle with myself when I don't do it. Yes, recovering perfectionist here. I wish I were perfect, but I'm not. Ahhh, that's a freeing realization.)
Remember love is a verb, an action. Loving yourself and your body isn't a feeling. You can feel pretty stinky about your body and still love it. Resolve to love yourself this new year with an action that shows yourself that love. Love. Is. A. Verb.
-- Love Paula & Team Sunrise, the food peace people
Perfect eating isn't the way to positive health.
As I dropped my child off for school I saw a good “foodie” friend that I love. “What are you doing here?” I asked. “They’re doing testing and they asked for healthy snacks. It’s hard for me to provide healthy snacks!” she laughed.
“You should give them my card,” I told her, “and tell them they should ask for enjoyable snacks.”
When we focus on “healthy” and deem certain foods to fit this criteria & others that don’t, we damage the food relationship. I often ask clients to create a list of “foods I should eat” and “foods I shouldn’t eat.” Their “shouldn’t eat” lists always make my mouth water. So many tasty, nourishing foods end up there. Avoid them - No!!
Together, we go through the list of foods talking about all the benefits they give to the body. Chips often show up. Chips provide many nutrients including potassium which decreases blood pressure. I’ve looked at the label on the chips bag in my pantry and have yet to figure out why people demonize this enjoyable food.
Pizza also shows up, and I love to share the complete nutrition provided in pizza. Carbs, protein, fat - it’s all there, and pizza even has some vegetables. Complete, balanced, tasty nutrition.
One of the problems is that we often limit the word “healthy” to physical health, primarily what you eat & how much you exercise. The truth is that health is so much more than these two things.
Health includes many parts of our lives. Use the following to expand your view of health, & let go of the “what I eat & how I move is the only thing that makes me healthy” mindset. That view is likely damaging your health more than helping it.
Social health is a huge determinant of health. Do you have good friends, close relationships, people you can call when life gets tough, or when you want to have a little fun? It is far more important to go enjoy a meal with friends than to stay home because you won’t be able to stick to your eating plan.
Professional or job health is also important. Do you enjoy the work you do daily, or is it causing you so much stress that it’s impacting you negatively? What you eat may be less important than the joy (or lack of it) you feel all day at your place of employment.
Intellectual health encourages stimulating mental activities, learning to sew, finishing a crossword, rebuilding a motor, staying up on current events, learning to speak a new language. These are all important to health and are just as important as eating or movement.
How about sleep...don’t stop reading now!! If you’re losing sleep in an attempt to exercise more, what is the trade off? Sleep does impact both physical and mental health through improving our immune system, improving cardiovascular function, better memory and stress management.
And there’s more...spiritual health, emotional health, self-compassion, having fun, enjoyable eating, joyful movement. These all impact our health.
Today, make peace with food and focus on improving health in ways that impact you other than eating a perfect diet. After all, I’m truly concerned about the people who eat perfect diets. When perfect eaters walk into my office they’re usually struggling with components of their mental health that can’t be seen on a plate.
Do you want to work on your overall health with someone who gets that shaming you for your choices with food & exercise aren't the answer? Reach out - my greatest hope is for everyone in south central Kansas to have an enjoyable, peaceful relationship with food. It truly is life changing!
--Sincerely Paula, the food peace dietitian
Is your nutritionist at peace with food?
Between 40-80%...I know, staggering statistic, right? This is the rate of nutritionists struggling with an eating disorder in one study I looked at recently. Yup, nutritionists who are teaching others about eating.
I know, scary, but more than that, sad, because they often don’t even realize it. How do I know? I was one of them.
Almost 20 years ago I ran regularly & ate “all the right things” according to my dietetic education. Three meals + a snack or two daily. It wasn’t enough.
When I visited the doc my heart rate was 60. He stopped, knowing that wasn’t a healthy rate and expressing concern.
Then he listened to my honest explanation that low heart rates run in my family & I was super fit, evidenced by daily running. Not knowing better he let me go.
If either of us had been trained in eating disorders, we would’ve immediately noticed this subtle sign of malnutrition and began to ask other questions to figure out that I was in fact, undernourished, even though my labs were good.
We'd have asked questions like are your hands or feet ever cold, do you think about food frequently, do you ever feel your heart beat rapidly, do you ever feel out of control around food, and on and on assessing for issues common in eating disorders. Issues a trained practitioner would recognize.
But, neither of us, a doctor & a dietitian, realized it. Even worse, I’m not the only nutritionist with a story like this...and this isn’t the only doctor who knew very little about eating disorders. The truth is that in most nutrition programs there is zero education on eating disorders, and it's not much better for doctors. I know, shocking. This is why you want to have someone who is trained evaluate if you think you might have eating issues.
The truth is that all nutrition programs *should* evaluate students for eating disorders and provide treatment if needed.
Because I’m not obsessed with nutrition I wasn’t counting calories, or grams of this or that, I was just “eating healthy,” as most nutritionists do.
Here’s the difference between a nutritionist, or athlete, or anyone who has an eating disorder vs someone who has no disorder. Once they learn they’re not eating enough, or that their issue is restriction, they increase or add to their intake. Just like that, adding or changing their view of food isn’t a significant stressful experience, they just do it.
If someone is disordered, there’s a lot more stress around this process for them. I see it every time I’m in my clinic, and it’s usually stealing their life from them, and they often don't even realize it.
So, here’s a good question for you. Is the dietitian, nutritionist, doctor, health coach, parent, etc. you’re getting your advice from at peace with food? Do they enjoy all foods without restriction, trusting that their body is good & able to regulate their intake naturally? Do they make taking care of themselves around food important & enjoyable? Or, do they lean towards control with eating and “not so much” messages full of portion sizes & food models?
If your nutritionist doesn’t seem to be at peace with food, consider switching to one who is. The last thing you want is to be taught how to be disordered with food by someone who thinks they are just helping you to be healthier.
Do you wonder if you're at peace with food? Do you wonder if your nutritionist is? Send me a message if you have concerns. My greatest hope is for everyone in south central Kansas to have an enjoyable, peaceful relationship with food. It truly is life changing!
--Sincerely Paula, the food peace dietitian
Finding peace with food & body is tough to do alone.
Mom, can I talk to you?” my 8 year old quietly said, entering my bedroom. The tone she used said "close your book and ignore that I'm supposed to be brushing my teeth."
“Ever since the dentist said I have crooked teeth I haven’t liked my smile.” My heart sank a little. The closed mouth smile she’d been trying to perfect recently made sense.
As I do with my clients, I began to really tune in, knowing that this was a pivotal moment for her. “Really? Will you tell me about it?” And she did.
I listened, knowing deeply what it’s like to be a child criticized for your appearance, and how significantly that can impact feelings of value and worth.
I hugged her. I let her know all the things I appreciate about her, and that I love her current smile, because it’s her.
As she ran out of the room my husband heard us, and said, “little one, I love your smile.”
It stinks friends, this water we all swim in each day. People who say things based on appearances without even thinking about it. A simple sentence that stays in the heart of a person & damages their self image, their ability to like or accept who they are.
Sometimes there’s a true structural issue to be fixed, like moving teeth to let others grow in. But these judgements are so often fed by a culture of marketing that only profits if you think there’s something wrong with you.
Could they sell you anything, cellulite cream for example, if you didn’t believe there was a problem with cellulite? Marketers have worked hard to help you believe it’s a problem.
Money, so much of it is money driven, and it’s damaging to peace with our bodies, and our food, and our children’s view of themselves.
It hurts, makes me angry, and brings up in me a warrior that normally is quiet.
I will be a fierce warrior for my child, my clients, and anyone who is being criticized in the name of things that have very little to do with the special person they are. The part that returns to dust in the end.
You might be one of them, or have been one. Someone who judges based on things that in reality have little value. Maybe that’s still you. I hope you know there’s a different way.
Unlearning is a huge part of the process to both food & body peace. Unlearning takes time.
About 10 minutes later my child returned, smiling big, and said, “I like my smile again.” This, my friends, is what support can do when things have hurt us. This is what can happen with food & body image struggles when you find support that is helpful.
This is why, in my view, support is essential.
Who can you share your crooked smile stories with? The ones that you hold deep in your heart, and haven’t told a soul? A trusted friend, your significant other, a clinician such as myself or your therapist? Or, maybe you journal & writing heals your wounds.
These stories need to come out, to be brought to the light, to be healed so they stop rattling around inside of you, distracting you from living the life you’re meant to live.
Sometimes my clients tell me I’m the only person they can talk to about food and body image struggles, or they only have their therapist and a friend who understands.
This is a problem & a reason I’m working towards starting a group for those struggling with food, which is often brought on by body image struggles. It’ll be a place we unlearn the harmful messages about food & body our culture gives, and replace them with acceptance, kindness, authenticity.
Do you need a food peace tribe? Reach out - Sunrise Nutrition Consulting LLC is here to help.
Your greatest superpower is that you are you
Large or small body, no one can be you.
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